My friend Nathan told me that years ago in a teenage compulsive suicidal despair, he drank gasoline. “How much?” I asked. Dunno, but he chugged. “What happened next, did you have to get your stomach pumped?” He said there was no need; he puked it all up almost instantly.

Of course gas isn’t exactly like oil but I think of him when I come across similar stories. For instance, I was just watching a shoot interview trailer in which Jim Cornette says that Wahoo McDaniel, in college, ran 26 miles and drank a quart of motor oil on a bet (legit). Which brings to mind this classic promo in which the oil, at least most of it, is spit out:

I’ve had it all over me on the farm, usually in the form of tractor hydraulic fluid from a ruptured line or stuck coupler valve. The taste is just as it smells, and it lingers. But apparently it’s not too poisonous. There’s also the experience of other omnivore mammals:

The wife of Kenneth Anderson kept an orphaned sloth bear cub from Mysore, which she named “Bruno”. The bear could be fed on almost anything (including motor oil) and was very affectionate toward people.

Can’t have a post about oil consumption without referencing this stuff: